Out of the foxhole

Written for MacKenzie Jill Sauer's graduation, June 9, 2013

Out of the Foxhole

You’ve grown up, Little Girl
Eighteen years old and graduated
Ready to strike out on your own
Off into the great big world

Of course, you’ll take us with you
When a family tells stories around a table for two hours
stopping only at the relentless, nagging clock
then they are a part of you
just as you are a part of them

Yet, despite our closeness—or, perhaps, because of it—
you feel you’ve missed out on certain things, don’t you?
I’ve read your looks
Decoded your comments:

Other families stay in hotels
Drive cars that don’t break down
Watch cable television
Play video games
Luxuriate in air conditioning
Other families’ homes remain clean and disinfected
When there’s a renovation to be done, a hired crew comes in and
POOF!
like magic, other families’ problems disappear

At times, it must have seemed as if
we were living in a foxhole
Not that there were bullets flying outside
rather booming, violent capitalism—and we seemed dug in against it
Cold in winter
Hot in summer
Dirty
Always under construction

Was it real, or imagined?
I mean, our lifestyle was, for the most part, self-imposed
So was the conflict mere fantasy?
Principles that didn’t translate to realty?
Could we have lived like other families?

I don’t know
I tried to live in violent capitalism for a while
Talk about a fantasy world!
SUV’s and malls and homes with climate control
Numbers, most with dollar signs, quantifying
every aspect and value of life . . .
It could be claimed we were escaping from reality
I would claim we were escaping to it

It sure felt real, didn’t it?
The work
The doing without
The struggles
The tears

But difficulties tell only part of our story in the foxhole
We laughed, didn’t we?
How we laughed!
And when we danced!
Oh, my, chicks and ducks and geese better scurry!
When we danced,
we REALLY danced!

I’d wrap you in my arms

and swing; Your legs, so far from the floor,
became helicopter blades
And we both were lifted up
Floating in time and space
Around and around and around . . .

That damn clock. It says it’s time for you to go
Well, you’re ready
Your legs reach all the way to the ground
You’ve got a map and a mind full of ideas
So much road ahead of you!
You get to choose your destination, your battles
That’s as it should be,
and you leave the foxhole with my blessing

But in your journey, I ask you this:
Once in a while, shut off the air conditioning
Open a window
Don’t fear dirt
Talk with honesty even if the topic is gritty
Tell stories
Laugh
Do lots of laughing

And when you dance,
REALLY dance!